Staying in a relationship

Have you ever stayed in a relationship longer then you should have? I wouldn’t believe half the people who said no. I think my problem is I am a Libra and if you know any Libra’s you know they try and make everything work, everyone get along and everyone happy. The problem with being wired this way is you end up attracting people who need to be taken care of, nurtured and mothered. And lets face it no women wants to mother her boyfriend... that doesn’t make us feel sexy... no it makes us think why can’t we date someone who is more of a man. I need to focus on me, not everyone else, I need to make me work, me be the best I can be. I was driving in the car today and I remembered something Sarah said to me a while back... she said “Noelene, stop volunteering, this is ridicules how can you do this for these people when you are barley getting by yourself?” I took it to heart and she was right, I was volunteering for stuff thinking I could help, but I couldn’t because I first needed to help myself. I think that saying rings true in many things, you can’t help others until you can help yourself, and you can’t love others until you love yourself!! So where does this leave me ... unhappy. Needing to take action?

Start with a small goal

I am going to set a personal goal of more blogging for me. I think it’s good for me as when in high stress I need to write it down or talk it out and I find I am more honest when writing into a blank white page opposed to going to the therapist. I don’t know why but I always feel the need to say I am doing better then I actually am when talking to the therapist... Yes I see a therapist, ever since I had my first mental breakdown at work... apparently its fairly normal to have a breakdown at some point in your life... If I had known that before my breakdown it may have been easier to deal with. So as a way to help myself move and grow I will blog, however it may be tricky as the problems I have are high stress situations that are work related and as my work has a blogging policy (I can’t blog about work), I am not sure what I will blog about. I guess I could still blog about all the crap that goes on at work and I can use different names and a different work, however I think that may just be more trouble then its worth. Ok people hold me accountable for my goal.

Karma

So I have always believed in Karma and your energy and all that stuff, however I have been really stressed out lately and I have just been a bitch to people and Karma has bit me in the ass for it.

The other day I took Shawn shopping and after loading up the car I left a nasty note on some guy's car that was parked behind me, he was all the way in my spot and there was a mark on my car (thinking from him hitting me). So the note said something along the lines of learn how to park.... yada yada ya.

So back to the karma biting me in the ass - we are driving back to drop off the groceries I said to Shawn that the note is going to bring me some bad karma... and driving we hit every red light on the way back, I said well if that’s all I get, I am getting off easy.

I spoke too soon, needless to say we arrived back at Shawn's and started to unload the groceries I picked up the six pack of Campbell’s Hardy Beef soup all wrapped in plastic and went to put it on my shoulder and BAMB some nasty stuff was pouring out all over the back seat of my car and all over my sweater and arm.... I started gagging it smelt so bad... oh the smell of rotten meat... It had to have been open for awhile and did I mention the smell... oh the vial smell!! Oh and the maggots... ewww gross.

So needless to say karma kicked me in the ass. You think I would learn after I had to frantically look for a car detailer that was open on Sunday who would clean my car... as I was painstakingly reminded of the episode of Seinfeld – you know the one with the BO, well Jerry come smell my maggot infested car now...

Needless to say I am putting my nasty note write away along with my flying finger.... :)

I need the karma gods to see the good side!!

Long Time

Wow I haven't been on here forever... I am doing a "house cleaning" of emails, web pages and all that stuff if you will. I just finished deleting my MySpace account because lets face it I am never on it. I also up-ed my privacy on my facebook so my pictures aren't randomly pasted across the world wide web and I am trying to remember all the many other things I have signed up for but don't use... friendster... remember that.. I wonder if I can remember my login, will see. There was also another one that I used to be on... way before myspace, facebook and friendster... it was aimed towards African Americans... and I for some reason felt the need to be part of it. So next time I blog I hope to be down to;
1 personal email (maybe two)
1 web based page
1 Blog site
and that’s it!