Don't Hate me, but your the one who made me tell you.

Confused...No that's not it, Anger...No, jealousy...Yes sometimes...Understanding...Yes definitely, But then that makes me say yes to Confusion.

I look at myself today and start to understand what is wrong. I lie way to much, not huge lies but little lies and I think I have been doing this for so long that I now actually start to believe some of them myself. I think I lie to myself even, because this helps in convincing me what should be instead of what it is.

I look at myself and wonder why I am standing still, I hold myself back by holding on to others way to hard. Yes it hurts to lose them, but you can't always get what you want and isn't it better to have Love and lost then to have never to have loved at all.

I am manipulative, I am petty and I am evil. I plot and scheme to hurt my friends. I hurt myself more because of it. Sometimes my power scares me. Look what I have done so far, and don't tell me its not my fault. Everyone knows I had so much to do with everything. Maybe I'm not the one pushing the button but I am defiantly making sure someone is doing it.

Who does what I do? I don't think many people do. Maybe I'm crazy maybe I am sane...But whatever the case I am not happy.

Why do I inflict pain on myself like this, why do I keep going back for more, why can't I control my thoughts and feelings!! How can one person make me feel this way.

I'm not a good person I have done something to you.